December 2011
Why being a girl isn't working out for me:
Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!
Me: Please, god, no--
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOO!!!
Brain: I quit. i quit. kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. oh my god salty snacks i am furious
Me: Please, guys, calm down--
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVER LIKED ABOUT ME. I'M GROWING MOUNTAINS, BITCHES.
Brain: And now I'm ugly! shbdksdnksbn
Torso: Time to practice labor. cramp this bitch up. GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Stomach: lol clothes cant fit you anymore. you are bloated. you are now a balloooooooon!
Me: I hate you all
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. we need to procreate.
Face: Lol, i'm not done yet.
Uterus: what did i ever do to deserve this?
Brain: you just wait uterus. they're going to make you hold a baby for like 9 months straight.
Uterus: You mother fuckers.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female, I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
He has to be the only person that can call me at 3am when i’m asleep and it still makes me happy!
Getting random drunk calls off your friends trying...
The awkward moment when you realise watching...
Meeting my favorite band member
Me: Will you sign this?
Them: Sure
Them: Wait,what is that?
Me: A marriage certificate
Them: But.. I..
Me: TOO LATE, YOU SIGNED IT
FUCK BEING A FEMALE SUCKS!
